I felt free

Today is Monday, and for the first time in months, not the worst day of my week, or my life in general. I'm still experience post-vacation euphoria, and I'm not ashamed. I feel so great for the first time in probably half a year. I hope the good feelings last. I really do, because I don't want to go back to that old place. That old place was dark and scary and ruined me for a long time. And I want to feel good, and laugh, and not dread my life, and not feel weird about who I am and what I like because there are others like me and they like me and I like them. Fuck it they love me and I love them. And we're so fucking funny it's unbelievable. And I don't think I could've laughed at or made another joke. Or ate better food. Or listened to better music. Or saw more awesome wild turkeys.

For the first time since I was dumped I felt genuinely happy. Not fake happy. Not half-listening. Not waiting for the night to be over so I could go home and cry, not miserable. Not worried. Happy.

That's all anyone needs to know.

Great NEW

Web sites I've found (or have been recommended)

Stumbleupon.com - you create a user name / password, then check a bunch of boxes that are your interest and click "Stumble!" You are routed to web sites, pictures, blogs, videos and other random things associated with your interests. For example, I stumbled across this fine photo which is now the background on my computer. Well actually I didn't save it, but trust me when I say it's an awesome picture of Bill Murray constructing a doll house full of Gophers. Some weird, but seriously awesome shit. I also have a list of free documentaries bookmarked.

1,000 Awesome Things - This web site is just truly...awesome. Kind of like Post Secret, and I love Post Secret.  The blog outlines awesome little things in life that make it worth living, from junk drawers, movies with friends in a cold basement and morning stretches to the trials and tribulations associated with hearbreak and death. A few posts definitely brought tears to my eyes. And some are so beyond true, it's scary. You don't even think about half this stuff while it's happening, but hindsight makes you realize how awesome little things like that can be. Check it out, for realz.

Dirpy - A youtube to MP3 converter. Awesome for songs that somehow only can be found on youtube, movie clips, or any other thing you wanna pump through your ears on your igadget.

That's all for now

Random

Work will be busy this week. But fun things are coming in the form of a concert and party this weekend.

Blue Sky Noise from Circa is officially released next week, but I was unexpectantly given a copy early. For this I'm grateful. My many assignments at work will be cranked out while this album's cranking through my ears.

Met up with Jen Runge on a walk today. Sometimes it's SO good to catch up with people :) I've missed her.

My friends starting playing the lottery. If they win big here's a list of things I want:

1. A tropical vacation, with them of course
2. Party pontoon
3. Free beer for life
4. My own media company
5. A rockstar husband
6. A private island, like Leo
7. For all of us to have a damn good life

It goes without saying that if I won the lottery, they'd get the same things in return.

love. circa. survive.

Sadly, I walk around this place on the shells of eggs

My shoulders are cold
I put it off for so long, I put it off
and know I’ve got to live with what I made
forever

What was stolen from us
now is forever lost
just because we’ll never pay the ransom
What was taken from me
I will never regain just because
We’ll never pay the ransom

I’ll become like the desert wind
and I’ll drink all the gin
Shriveled up under desert lights
eaten up in the night
I can’t keep this up much longer without
needing more from you
I need more



Wasted with the rhythm
angry at the melody
How did you stay so sweet?
Cause you were my ally once
You were my confidante
i need somebody close
to be close to
forever


What was stolen from us
now is forever lost
just because we’ll never pay the ransom
What was taken from me
I will never regain
just because we’ll never pay the ransom
just because we’ll never pay the ransom

Happy Easter !

Easter's always a good time. It means summer not far behind and then we can collectively stop bitching about the cold weather. I guess we'll just have to complain about how hot it is.

Good things have been happening. I've been settling in at work and have started to feel a little more important, like I can contribute. They will be asking me soon, I'm sure if I'd like to stay there. I'll tell them yeah. I would like to. It's good to make money and save until I move out into the infinite abyss. Sometimes there are days when the last thing I want to do is work. But I drag my butt there anyway and learn tons of things. It's good for me, even if I can't see that now.

Plus, Vegas is coming up. I will be paying for the entire vacation on my own (unfortunately my tax refund will be mere pennies compared to what I thought it would be, so it will all have to come from my bank account). I get so excited thinking about it. Me and my friends are gonna tear it up, to say the least.

I also want to visit my sister Melissa around labor day for a long weekend. I really have my heart set on going to Harry Potter world, and I'll get to check out the keys where she lives, finally.

Mine and Erica's blog has been coming along nicely! We've received a lot of positive feedback and encouragement. I'm glad people are reading. Even if they weren't, I don't care because it's something me and Erica really look forward to working on. A hobby, I guess you'd say. But we're proud of it, so make sure to check it out!

Lots-o-fun things coming up soon. Piano bar, hanging w/ Matt and Stacy, helping them move, a concert, ST.LOUIS! for a going away party with Erica, Dan and hopefully Katie and Mello (should be so much hilarity) and other things. Really super excited for the nice weather and possible beach trips, outdoorsy type things, a new bike and my first three day weekend (memorial day).

Well that's all for now. I'll keep postin' when I get the chace.

Also, stumbleupon.com is great. Found some really cool stuff. Check it out.